My avocado ripened

Me: ...I wanted an egg and avocado sandwich for breakfast but I have to wait days for the avocado to ripen.
Wendy: Ugh I hate when I find that out about the avocado. Mood ruiner...


And then a few days passed... and my unripened avocado became this:

I think the avocado became too ripe, actually. Either that or I was used to the Haas avocado I had eaten most recently (the one with dark bumpy skin). Maybe that variety isn't typically as soft and creamy. I'm not really sure. Ask an avocado expert.

Regardless, my avocado then turned into this...

Me: I made an avocado sandwich with turkey slices today.

Imaginary Person Reading My Blog: Don't you mean a turkey sandwich with avocado slices?

M: I'm not dyslexic. I'm just an awful sandwich maker. I kind of overdid it with my ripe avocado.

IPRMB: Oh.

M: Yeah.

Are you an avocado lover who doesn't believe that there's such thing as too much in a sandwich?

PROOF: The layer of avocado is thicker than the turkey.

In conclusion, this is what I learned:

• Buy an avocado ahead of time so that it's ripe when you want to use it.
• Don't wait too long because it gets too mushy and doesn't hold together the sandwich as well.
• Maybe even toast the bread a little more.
• And don't bother making a sandwich like this for a transportable lunch at all, for that matter.

And this is what you learned:

• Instagram makes food look better than it tastes. Don't be fooled by the Internet.
• This weird girl Lyssa really likes to tell stories using imagined dialogue and pseudo-hipster snapshots.